We are all fearful of rejection at some point during our working lives.
Whether that’s communicating news to your team, a job interview, a promotion, speaking at an event, insecurities, or seeking funding.
> Some leaders will share their fears, others won’t.
> Some leaders will brush over it and ignore it, others won’t.
> Some leaders seek help and methods to overcome their fears, others won’t.
There IS no right or wrong.
Fear evokes many feelings – anxiety, mild to severe stress, sleeplessness, illness, happiness, excitement, nervousness. You are human.
But my goodness doesn’t rejection hurt?
Particularly if you really want or need something. Continued rejection can lead to deep anxiety and a vicious circle. Fear can often be related to something that happened in childhood. I’m not a psychologist but I do know when rejection is painful and how it shows up. I know how it feels and how it looks (as in mindset and physical sense) and I also know that we – you – can turn things around.
Now, I get deeply disappointed when people – talented people are left disenfranchised, disengaged and angry. People that cannot feedback openly, when fairness and humanity go out of the window. It’s bad for everyone, including their business. But that’s a whole different article.
Whilst there are many people that don’t give a damn about you, not in an ‘icky sense but in a common courtesy sense, there are others that do. And in my experience, it generally comes down to values and behaviour.
I talk a lot about fear because most of my clients face it in some shape or form. Here’s a short summary of one of my clients:-
One of my clients thought it was their fault. They couldn’t get past the way an organisation made them feel nor the poor feedback about missing out on a job – even when they were encouraged to show their interest.
There were two key themes that came out of our discussion:
- a mismatch in values and beliefs, and
- different goals.
Here are 5 tips that I hope will help:
- Identify what it is that is worrying you – evoking that fear. Write it down.
- Recognise your inner critic, so you become familiar with it when it happens again.
- The rejection is often not about you.
- Identify your past successes – achievements and accomplishments.
- Identify what you really want from your work/role. It’s possible it’s no longer serving you and there is a happier, more fulfilling place you could be!
Rejection could be the nudge in the right direction. There are many lanes in life. Choose the one YOU want.
Embrace not knowing and when you have defined what it is you want, stay in your lane. Be purposeful.
Overall though, please do get help. You deserve to reach your potential AND your goals!
Get in touch to find out about my new Power-30 coaching or our unique leadership programme designed specifically for leaders in IT called The Open Leader Method(TM).
0333 987 5252 | sayhello@opensquareconsulting.com
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Here are a few related articles:
Fear of failure and then letting people down
Leading with curiosity or by fear?
Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash
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